I've studied the spiritual life, looked at my relationship with God through many years, under many circumstance. I'm just a plain old ordinary man, uncomplicated trying to make sense of the world. That's truly it, nothing more than that pursuit at this time in my life. The few things that I've learned about the mystery of God is that to really encounter Him, in a manner in which you can grow and listen to Him, you have to develop what I call a spiritual life. I think a good analogy would be someone who is an outdoor person. A person who spends a great deal of time outdoors, could be farming, hunting, fishing, trail walking, gardening etc. That person becomes attuned to the external world, he or she becomes sensitive to the small nuances of the the things in nature. The breeze, or stillness of the air, moisture, the angle of the sun, coolness and warmth, the sounds of birds, insects, the ground as you walk. There is a heightened awareness of these things that is missing from an indoor person. Today unfortunately we have many more indoor persons than outdoor persons. In the spiritual life, it is absolutely necessary to understand two things, first silence is an absolute necessity and material attractions prevent the inner self to loose itself. God is always present, but in our quiet meditative persona or state, we can find the course that leads us to Him. To me God and more specifically Jesus, the 2nd Person of the Trinity is the source for understanding the world, the means to figuring things out. The thing to figure out is what happens after my last breath comes out. That's it baby....so if you are not in a state conducive to seeking and finding God (if you are in a state of mortal sin, this becomes extremely difficult), God will not become close to you, not because He can't but because you won't let Him.